7 perks of being away from Home

~ 1180 words

For most of you who opened up this link to read, you must have been looking forward a somehow spoilt brat perspective of being away from home, with the three F-words often being thrown around: Freedom, Fun and Fiesta.

For the handful some who know the better of me, and noticed the word ‘emotional’ in the title, I know you were startled to find that there could actually be some emotional advantages to being away from home. Why I’m choosing to focus on the hearty pros rather than the usual common sense advantages? Well, simply because I beg to differ!

Whatever the reasons you are reading this article for, and whatever the expectations of perks you came with, thank you for connecting back to me. Now, why would I claim that there are such mental, and emotional benefits to being away from where you've been for the past 20 years of your life? Stepping out of your comfort surely builds you up. As a Facebook Quotes and Meme generation, we often saw on our news-feed: "Life starts at the end of your comfort zone."

But I'm not going to sit down here and type about how being on your own, away from family builds you, makes you more responsible and more mature as well as independent. I have been all of these things way before leaving Mauritius for Singapore. Then, what are the other advantages that are more central to me, on a personal level?

1. Free Time (a lot)

As an opener, this might come as a shock. How can any student studying abroad have more free time for his own, especially since he must be fending for himself, study and participate actively on campus?

But to be quite honest, it's true. Despite having a bulkier syllabus, a more demanding and rigorous course outline and having to work on top of that, there is way more free time available with being on your own rather than being at home? Why?

a. You no longer live in a joint-family or modified extended family atmosphere and hence can thankfully wave bye to all the unwanted guests in your living place who would sit down and eternally gossip and chat- and this at times when you are pathetically trying to work a Physics Paper out.

b. There is no need to constantly show sign of life to your parents or feel apologetic about not getting downstairs to converse with them.

c. Since you only have to take care of yourself and no longer contribute in making dinner for 4 people, or the common household chores, you can simply throw everything up in the air and choose not to cook or do anything time-consuming.

2. Involvement

Second is friendly involvement in activities not only as a consequence of more free time but also because you are solely liable to choosing your priorities.

The way parents tend to set priorities can get too structured and repeated every time; especially when it almost seems like a crime to them to take a break.

Either because of a lack of permission, active support or interest in our lives, often parents are not cooperative enough about your association with a social cause, or fundraising event or voluntary work. Somehow, it also in their view, is a foolish thing to be kind, helpful and considerate. Coming from the society I hail from, competition is on top of the list and all we are born to do is survive and not conquer.

As a matter of fact, being away from home lets you have the liberty of choosing the values you attach to things in life.

I cannot fail to remember each and every single time family commitments just blows up your networking opportunities, or hope to build bonds with people or invest time in a cause you truly hold to your heart. With family being out of the picture, there's just more normality and personal green light of pursuing what you could otherwise have been all this while.

3. Being Yourself

Perhaps, I never had issues with being myself at home; or perhaps I did. Any loyal reader would by now have understood the concept of 'alter egos'. Being away from home allows you to be unabashedly unapologetic about expressing every single one of your alter egos. Not only because there are lessened societal constraints when you move from your native conservative locale to a more liberal society but also because being away from the people who have expectations of how you should be is always less suffocating.

And by that, I'm in no way meaning to say that we can henceforth roll out some shades of ours that are negative or dark. There is a high chance of rolling out the positive ones as well.

4. Facilitated Spiritual Growth

It's difficult growing up in the same social environment. It does allow you to evolve as fast you wish you could as a person.

Especially, when it comes to your soul. How can anyone seeking light grow nearer to the divine self when surrounded by a mass of people who can be slack, ignorant and perpetually toxic to your soul? How can you attempt to be kind, be positive when your selfish surroundings are a misfit for you?

As such, on an emotional level and internal frustration possibilities detoxifies you.

5. Detachment and Healthy Distance

You get bored being with the same people and again. Don't get me wrong, but there's a reason as to why I'm an advocate of polygamy. Distance brings you closer in a way. Since I don't live with my mother and talk to her on the phone, our conversations are more meaningful because she wouldn't be nagging me about some trivial personal activity as she would have if I lived with her.

The distance is only better for parents as well, if only they would see it that way instead of sulking over it. You would have evolved or changed in some manner and when you next meet them, they can see you as an adult evolving, not some little child who needs to be taken care of.

And all of this teaches you detachment, the opposite of the very toxic attachment that binds us to the physical realm. Now, how beauteous is that?

6. You become bold and fearless.

If you can get over the fear of moving to another city on your own, you can get over the fear of anything.

Moving to another city, you build up the courage to make things happen from the ground up. You start fresh. You need to know where to go and who to approach. You become more strategic in your thinking. And if you don’t take actions, you’ve got nothing to gain.

Getting to Singapore, although it's only been 7 weeks has already been life changing for me. When you need to take a bus at half past midnight, you have to do. It's never something that I would even have considered in Mauritius to go out and fetch for food, do something, get things going without asking for permission.

The funny thing is that back at home, my parents would be having a string of arguments about not letting you go alone to a place you've known all your life and now you have to go to places you've never been to before, at times at night and that too with public transport.

7. You start to wonder where home is.

I was watching this trailer of a 2015 Bollywood movie called 'UnIndian' and a line from the motions was enough to gear me into watching the movie: "I am not Australian enough for Australia yet, and not Indian enough for India anymore."

This line was a heart-stopper because I knew I would have to relate to that in the coming months. There's this feeling that sets in: "Where do I belong finally?" You are now estranged from the people of the past, even to the closest people. And you are not well-acquainted enough with the people of the present. Do you even have a place to call home?

Discovering answers to all of these questions when you’re far away from home, you have all the freedom to genuinely answer these without biases. The next thing you know, traveling and living overseas have become a part of who you are. You become emotionally connected to this new city you moved to only just a few years ago. You start to wonder where home really is.

And this builds you up as a traveler and wanderer for eternity. You start to become in the real sense of the word- a free spirit.