Sex in College
Many international students have encountered American culture before, especially in the form of television shows such as “One Tree Hill”, "Gossip Girl" and "Degrassi The Next Generation.” I can shamelessly ascertain that I always thought that sexual maturity is an occurrence that I have always associated with western cultures. Yes, I have been biased and heavily stereotypical.
As soon as I step foot on college campus, one thing was evident and obvious: although I am going to be on campuses in Asia, the Middle-East and Australia, I am not going to be spared of the fact that sexual activity among peers will be a trend to co-exist with.
But it is not going to be all fun and games—fucking while living in a building full of hundreds of horny students can be tough. Thin walls, rumors, shitty roommates, and the ability of a nasty STI to wipe out an entire floor all make quick dorm hookups a bit of a minefield.
To the cute and innocent high school-ers, prepare yourself to adjust to a culture of dating, hook-ups and on-campus romance once you cross oceans.
#1 It's a hook-up culture
I think the sexual culture on my campus is a hook-up culture. At least for the first two years, there doesn’t seem to be many relationship-seeking individuals. Everyone seems to be looking for a hook-up.
But a hookup is not always the blithe and meaningless sex with strangers that the term conjures. Even among college students, it’s defined differently from person to person and situation to situation. It could mean anything from kissing to intercourse, with a crush, with a friend, or, yes, sometimes with a relative stranger. The script, according to this ritual, is: First you fuck, then (perhaps) you date. Or, more likely, you just continue to hook up, creating a long-term relationship — minus feelings, theoretically — out of a series of one-night stands. (Backward Dating.)
If there is a prevalence of sexual assault they keep it under wraps.
#2 Drunken make-outs
Weekend fun is finding that hot boy/girl. It's hard enough to find a party that doesn't end in drunken debauchery. The end of a party is inevitably people coupling off and going home together. The result is dissected at brunch the next day. Sometimes I am able to go out, dance, and laugh and forget the undercurrent of sex. Other times I am shocked back to reality. Everyone is having sex. At least, that's how it feels, despite what the statistics say. They must be wrong. There is definitely at least some pressure to have sex since this campus is heavy reliant on the bar scene and party life. Not that going to a party necessarily means you need to have sex, but typically guys go to parties thinking, "What girl am I bringing home tonight?"
#3 FOMO
A lot of girls (and guys) feel a lot of pressure to do things they may not necessarily be ready for because they think they're expected to or they might be treated differently if they don't. So while it might be consensual sexual activity, that doesn't mean it's what they wanted. Just because women on campus are having sex doesn't mean they're sexually empowered.
#4 An SOS Cry
In a way (international students) use sex as a tool to find friends, connect with society and validate themselves. A female student from Europe, who arrived in Sydney three months ago said being away from home makes her feel lonely.
“It feels better than usual when someone puts his arm around me,” she said.
For some international students, more chances to drink and the lack of parental supervision have impacted on their sex life.
#5 Sexual Spectrum Freedom
It’s as if sexual freedom has become a burden as well as a gift. There is a new kind of freedom, too: a seemingly infinite array of genders and sexualities. There’s plenty of that old classic, straight-girl collegiate lesbian experimentation, but there are also trans students and pansexual students and bi students and gay students — not to mention the asexuals and aromantics — all happily trying out identities on one another. Gender is now not just mutable, even the concept is optional, and identity comprises a set of categories that can be sliced as finely as you want: Be a demi-girl who identifies with the female binary; be a graysexual panromantic transman. Whatever best describes you.
