Romeo and Juliet 2.0
This Tuesday I watched the trailer of Romeo and Juliet (2013).
It made me remember Romeo and Juliet’s passion for each other based on only three hours of interaction at a party. They married a few hours later. Not only was Juliet merely 13 years old, but also Romeo had been infatuated with another woman just prior to the party. We might call Romeo and Juliet’s relationship “mutual infatuation.”
I mean really, how much can you possibly know about a person in three hours? He knew that she was beautiful; she knew that he was handsome. They felt intense passion for each other. They ended up killing themselves over it! It’s likely that Romeo had serious anger-resolution issues (he killed two men in separate incidents within 24 hours).
Romeo and Juliet could not possibly have been in love! They were merely infatuated to each other! And that's a bad thing. It's selfish. It makes you fall in love, rather than making you rise in love. They were both escaping from something- Paris or Rosaline- the Capulet and Montague War or a mere adolescent adrenaline rush. Theirs was of course not love.
We know that Romeo's feelings are more akin to infatuation due to the intensity of his feelings plus the suddenness with which he switched from loving Rosaline to Juliet. His feelings for Rosaline and his hurt over her rejection were so intense.
Romeo, in Heaven
This love comes from the wounded self because it feels as if I can't live without her. This is not love. I know I’m think I still love her, but is this love or just infatuation/emotional dependency that comes from depending on her? I know. And this is not good. I’m taking her to be a cushion where I’m quietly lying to feel heavenly.
I feel like I have fallen in in love from the wounded self - the ego self – I have been in love not with her but with how she loves me. I have handed over to her the responsibility for my self-worth and well-being-and foolish me, I thought I was “in love”.
When it feels as if you can't live without the other person, it is emotional dependency. The part of you that is "in love" is really a child or adolescent who is needy for love because you are not giving love to yourself or to others. There is an emptiness inside that you expect someone else to fill, because you are not taking responsibility for your own feelings of self-worth. You are attaching your worth to another's love, which is why you can't live without that person.
"Give me my Romeo; and, when he shall die,
Take him and cut him out in little stars, And he will make the face of heaven so fine That all the world will be in love with night."
- Juliet
